Didn't find out but after importing notes and restarted with import "no" it works perfectly 🎉
I also tried those relays but in strfry couldn't make my write policy plugin work haha i saw you using chief from nostr:nprofile1qqst94nsmefmya53crp5qq39kewrtgndqcynhnzp7j8lcu0qjple6jstd6k4n glad you got it working!
#haven seems promising, it has everything you need and easy to set up, just changing some config files